The Fare-ill Email

How to write a bridge-burner of a goodbye work letter

Let’s face it, you've had enough.

You hate your work and want to give your employer a piece of your mind before leaving.

You're in the mood to write a real bridge-burner of an email, to give your employer the firing they deserve.

But once done, there’s no turning back.
No amount of tap-dancing will redeem you, so if this is how you want to go, then at least make it a really good example of your vitriol.
In fact, don't waste the opportunity to make this a work of art, a finely crafted piece of vituperation. If you are going to make a statement, then make it as worthy of yourself as possible.

After all, in this day and age, your words are likely to haunt you, so you may as well have some choice ones.

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Some Do’s and Don’ts of the Fare-Ill Email

Don't use rough language.
It is very easy to drift away and start abusing your employer.

But it will only reflect badly upon you, and even worse, your email may not even be read past the first couple of lines.

The point here is to lift your missive above hate-mail or a poison-pen letter.

You want to express the truth of your feelings articulately and with some level of wit.

So use sarcasm, double-meaning and mock-humility with select quotes your employer has made.

Write about the effort the company made to employ you and/or train you.

Were you head-hunted? Did the company pay for you to be relocated? Did they go out of their way to 'win' you in the first place?


Or maybe the company had a very elaborate hiring process - they spend a lot of time and effort choosing the right candidate, or a lot of time and effort training.

Remind your employer of this - that you were their choice candidate and yet they still 'wasted' talent, as well as their own time, money and effort.


Write about your pre-employment expectations versus the sad reality.
Build up the initial perceptions you had of the company and how positive you were about the job, then detail the succession of disappointments you learned while you were there.


You have more grounds for complaint if you were made specific promises that were never kept.

You may also want to describe your goals and why the employment wasn't in sync with it.

For example, you can say something like: my goal was to challenge my technical skills and at no stage did the employment by you provide this.

Be careful though, you don't want to 'share' too much or 'spill your guts'. Make sure the focus is on the employer/company, rather than on you. You don't want your email circulated as a joke (on you) within the company.


What will you say in your Out-of-Office reply?

Check out some options here.



Try not to sound bitter.
It will sound as if you have 'lost'.

After all, talented people always have other avenues to explore, and always look to the future, never looking back at past failures nor getting dragged down by negatives.

Remember that while a pack of dogs can still bring down a lion, YOU have the dignity of that lion.


So, your tone can be:

  • Slightly humorous, because you find the company amusing and ridiculous
  • Incredulous, as if you just can't believe it and are shaking your head
  • Embarrassed, as if you now have to explain your association with such a company/employer
  • Sarcastic, which though slightly bitter, still has humor in it and means you can still see the funny side - at their expense.


Keep it all in perspective.
It didn't work out, so move on.

You are the architect of your life.

Now that you are 'free' of the company/ employer, they no longer have power over you.
If you decide not to send that fare-ill email, vent your spleen here, as a kind of digital 'message in a bottle', if you will, waiting for the right person to read it.


Cheap Therapy in a Story Card

Work Sucks story





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Story card $9.72


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PREVIEW

The title says it all. Cheer up a friend or yourself with this naughty summary of work-life.

Simply download an e-story for $7 and print it out, or order a paperback version for $9.72.

The paperback version is 12 pages long (including title and copyright pages), in a handy card size with plenty of space for signatures and messages.


What happens in the order process?
You will be directed to the Lulu.Com website and you can select your order there. Make sure you choose correctly which item you want, whether it be a downloadable e-story, or the paperback card.

Tip! Check for Lulu coupons before you buy.

Lulu.Com is responsible for the printing and shipping (or download), payments and everything associated with your purchase.
Fond-farewell.com only takes credit for the story!


Want to Wish Work a Fond Fare-ill?

Vent your spleen here!

And then invite everyone to add their comments if you wish (make sure you set notifications so you can forward the page URL to everyone). It will take up to 24 hours for the page to be live.

Feel free to read other fare-ills below to inspire you.

Don't forget to take deep breaths!

Other Fare-ill Blasts

Click below to read other visitor's experiences...

Last Day at JP Morgan Chase 
This fare-ill email has been doing the rounds virally, and was written in June 2007 by a former employee of JP Morgan Chase. While this website advises …

Mental Health Matters  
I'm glad to be saying goodbye to you all. Yeah. Totally glad. *smug face*. There's nothing more embarrassing,than being part of a company, that has to …

Farewell blah blah 
Farewell blah blah Be well blah blah Don't be ill blah blah Will we miss you, miss miss you? Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Blaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh …

New Organisation Structure 
The following fare-ill email and subsequent replies show how diplomacy can belie bitter animosity. Yes this is a real email conversation that occurred, …

My Farewell Speech 
This is my farewell speech. Friends and family! This is me, myself and I saying farewell to all. I hear many of you guys sniffing and I'm glad for so. …

Click here to write your own.

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